Blue 88

It's very hard to forget the expressions on their faces. They have a kind of a hollow-eyed, lifeless, slack-jawed expression, and they almost don't see you as you go by. And you don't-- after a while, you learn not to greet them because their minds are elsewhere. It's almost as though they're going to a hopeless doom and there's a phrase for these men. They were called "rag men." These were infantrymen or infantry medics or such, going back up to a hopeless future or no future, and having no choice in the matter, determined, and their practice march and their practice step is, as always, back up where they must go.

During this time, the enlisted men and myself would sometimes go by. We had to supervise it, because there'd be screaming and they would be deep, deep asleep and there'd be terrible expressions of their fear and their fright. The assumptions were that this would have some kind of cathartic effect, the sodium amytal, which the men called "blue 88's." You know, the most effective artillery piece of the Germans was the 88 and this was "blue 88's," because the sodium amytal was a blue tablet.

And then they would-- they would come out of this in, depending on the dosage, 24, 48, 72 hours, and they'd be walking around, completely numb. Sometimes they would be slipping and falling. That took a few more hours. And then they would be given a shower, new clothes and a pep talk and the attempt was made to send them back. I say the attempt because it didn't always succeed. They weren't suitable to be returned.

And one time, the chief of staff asked me to go out and talk to them. He said, "You're good at that, you go out and talk." I said, "Colonel, I really don't want to do it." He said, "I know, Ben." He said, "Do it, anyhow." And I went out and I tried haphazardly to try to get them-- to persuade them to get in the trucks and go back. They'd finished with their 72 hours, they'd gotten their clothes, and they just looked at me. And half of them looked as if they couldn't focus.

And finally one of them said, "Don't you guys understand? If you can still walk and see, they'll keep shipping you back." So I didn't do that again, and I told my commanding officer I wouldn't.