Artie Lange

Arthur Steven Lange, Jr., (born October 11, 1967 in Union, New Jersey) is an American television and film actor, stand-up comic and radio personality. Lange is most notable for replacing Jackie Martling on The Howard Stern Show, and as a member of the original cast of the sketch comedy series MADtv.

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Early life

Lange was born and raised in New Jersey. His mother was a homemaker, and his father was a contractor. Two weeks after he was born, his father went on trial for counterfeiting money, but was spared jail time out of the court's sympathy for his young son. His family identified themselves as Italian-Americans, despite having German and Native American ancestry on his father's side. Lange has said that his father's background "has always been a gray area." During a segment of The Howard Stern Show, Lange provided a blood sample which was taken to a laboratory for genetics testing. Howard Stern announced that the results indicated that Lange was approximately 25 percent American Indian. Stern noted that Lange turned beet red after the revelation was made. Lange remarked that he had to re-evaluate his position when watching Western films, and that he was feeling more sympathetic toward the American Indian.

During high school Lange excelled in baseball, becoming an All County third baseman, and spent his free time working with his father. Some time after Lange finished high school in 1985, his father fell off a roof and broke his neck, becoming quadriplegic. He would eventually die from complications from the fall, although Lange has speculated that his father may have committed suicide (perhaps with the assistance of a third party).

After finishing school, Lange was arrested for attempted bank robbery. He claimed he was only trying to impress a bank teller by passing her a fake holdup note that said he was armed and demanded $50,000. Unfortunately, the note included his name, and the teller took it seriously, triggering the silent alarm. As part of an agreement, his lawyer arranged for Lange to avoid jail time, along with two years of probation and 25 hours of community service.

Lange attended the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, from March to June 1987.

Based on his work at the Connecticut School of Broadcasting, Lange was offered a radio job in Wyoming.^[1] Instead of taking the job, he stayed in New Jersey and took up work as a longshoreman to help support his family; it was around this time that he first started doing stand-up comedy. He eventually quit his job to focus full time on his comedy career. In 1995 he landed a role in the original cast of FOX's sketch comedy show MADtv.

MADtv

  Lange was one of the original nine castmembers of MADtv when the series debuted in 1995. Unlike some of his fellow castmembers on MADtv, Lange came to the show with limited sketch comedy experience, his background being in stand-up. It was around this time that he became heavily involved with drugs, particularly cocaine. He has stated that his lowest point of cocaine use occurred during a shooting of the MADtv sketch "Babewatch," in which he played a pig lifeguard. Because the sketch involved him going through hours of make up to transform him into a pig, he snorted cocaine in his car in full pig make up during a break in the shooting of the sketch. Upon returning from the shoot, he passed out in his hotel room, and awoke to find he had defecated in his own bed. The cast and fanbase of The Howard Stern Show now refer to this incident as "The Pig Story." His tenure with MADtv came to a dramatic end when, during a cocaine binge, the police were called to the studio. Lange fled, running through a number of backyards and stores before being arrested. He was charged with cocaine possession, assaulting an officer, and possessing an open alcoholic container in his car, among other charges. Upon Lange's arrest, Quincy Jones, an executive producer for MADtv, intervened to arrange for him to continue on the show for a second season. Lange's sobriety did not last, however, and he was fired after two seasons.

Lange performed as a few recurring characters on the show, such as "That's My White Momma," but was mostly used for impressions. Among the people he imitated were Ed Harris, Ed McMahon, F. Lee Bailey, George Clooney, Joe Pesci, Larry Csonka, Newt Gingrich, Richard Karn, Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnell, Rush Limbaugh, Wayne Knight and Yassir Arafat. During the show's tenth season, Lange again appeared in an episode.

The Howard Stern Show

After Lange served a short jail term and successfully completed a drug rehabilitation program, comedian Norm MacDonald offered him a part in the 1998 movie Dirty Work. While promoting the movie, McDonald brought Lange to The Howard Stern Show. Lange appeared on the show several times after, and was eventually asked to take over Jackie Martling's chair when Martling left the Stern Show in 2001.

Since Lange joined the show, Stern has often teased him for his eating habits, his role in the poorly-received movie Dirty Work and his lack of professionalism. Stern also makes a point to praise Lange's comedic talents. Stern and his staff have commented that Lange's life is a sort of perpetual adolescence; his mother delivers food parcels and cleans his apartment, he continually gorges himself on pizza and other fattening foods, and his frequent drunken binges are legendary among Stern fans.

In early June 2005, Lange began missing work at the Howard Stern Show, prompting concerns of a possible relapse of past substance abuse. The situation climaxed in Lange behaving incoherently and belligerently on-the-air. He infamously sneered at Howard and crew that: "Artie's gotta do what Artie's gotta do!" Stern later commented that this statement had scared him. Lange missed the entire week of work.

At the time, Lange's absence from the show went largely unmentioned and was written off as stress from doing the radio show and beginning production of his movie Beer League. The real reason for Lange's absence was revealed in a spontaneous revelation on the September 21, 2006 episode, on which Lange acknowledged that he was regularly snorting heroin from February to June 2005. Lange discussed past episodes of heroin use, beginning when he was a stand-up comedian and continuing until Beer League was set to begin shooting. Lange detailed his painful withdrawal, which included common side effects such as cold sweats, shaking and vomiting. Lange recalled disconnecting the telephone to avoid speaking to his mother, who ultimately intervened to help him recover. Lange was threatened with legal action by the Beer League producers (whom he later described as having "waste management connections") if he failed to show up for the first day of shooting in June 2005, which led Lange to secure a home visit from a doctor who prescribed Lange with buprenorphine (Subutex) to alleviate his heroin dependency. Since starting the medicine, Lange has claimed to be free of any illegal substances, though he has gained almost 100 lb (45 kg) since "quitting heroin."

In the days leading up to Stern's departure from terrestrial radio, Lange revealed that he and Gary Dell'Abate were approached by Infinity Broadcasting about replacing him on terrestrial radio with their own show. Lange claimed he was offered roughly $5 million to defect, but he and Dell'Abate claimed to have never given the offer much thought.

Artie is known for doing many impressions on the show, among them are Rush Limbaugh, Ted Kennedy, Iron Sheik, Eric the Midget, Don Rickles, Katt Williams, Johnny Fratto, Jeff the Drunk, Harry Caray, Brian Johnson, Mark the Bagger, Elliot Offen, Bigfoot, Crazy Alice, Henry Hill, Bubba the Love Sponge, The Notorious B.I.G. and others.

Due to his fame as Howard Stern's sidekick, Artie was invited by Playboy to be part of a special photoshoot as one of the Cyber Club's celebrity photographers. He chose Miss November 2001 Lindsey Vuolo as his model for the pictorial.

Personal life

Lange said on the Howard Stern Show that he lost his virginity on October 3, 1985, about a week before his 18th birthday. Because Lange was young for his grade, he had already graduated high school. The act took place in Lange's 1974 AMC Matador.^[2] Lange frequently discussed his on-again/off-again relationship with longtime girlfriend Dana Sironi after they began dating in early spring 2002. Most of the couple's problems stemmed from Lange's lifestyle. In mid-2006 Lange declared that the couple had officially broken up, for which Lange cited his heroin abuse as the primary reason, and claimed to have warned her that she would be "tortured" if they stayed together. However, Lange announced on an early November 2006 Stern Show that he and Sironi were again together to some extent, but that the situation was a mystery even to him.

Lange remains very close to his family, which includes his sister Stacie, a successful corporate fashion designer^[3], and his mother Judy, who retired in March 2007 from a secretarial career.^[4]

Health

  During a Stern Show weight loss competition, Lange was the only contestant to actually gain weight. He has also been asked to appear on Celebrity Fit Club for each of four seasons, but has declined every time.

In May 2004, Las Vegas station KLAS-TV reported him dead. The story turned out to be a prank executed by Stern Show regular caller Captain Janks.

The website artielangedeathwatch.com was started to predict when Lange would die if he continues this lifestyle. Before discontinuing updates, the site projected that he would die at age 53^[5]. The site resulted in Artie getting turned down for special life Insurance, when the company came across it.^[6]

Since quitting heroin, Lange has gained well over 100 lb (45 kg); on July 26, 2007, it was determined on The Howard Stern Show that he had reached 300 lb (136 kg).

Also in September 2007, Lange gave details on his case of sleep apnea. On numerous occasions, he awakes during the night to use the bathroom and will eventually fall back asleep whilst sitting on the toilet.

Artie was recently tested by John Hein for Type-2 diabetes on October 24th while on the Howard Stern show and his blood sugar was at 238. The next day on the show Artie stated his mother took him to see a doctor and was tested for diabetes. The tests came back negative and he stated his blood pressure was normal. The doctor, however, was very concerned with the speed that Lange has gained so much weight and suggested he go on a diet to save his heart. Since this incident, Artie has begun a moderate diet. Staff members have already commented that he looks "less bloated."

On November 1, 2007, Lange revealed on-air that he had taken a tablet of Subutex and was feeling slightly high. Howard insisted it was because of his new diet. Less than an hour after feeling the effects of Subutex, Lange threw two objects, one of which being a CD case, in a fit of rage at cast member Sal the Stockbroker; the two were not on speaking terms after a heated argument that they had the day before along with Richard Christy, Artie became frustrated once Sal and Richard attempted to amend the situation with an apology he found to be "phony." Artie would soon afterwards apologize to Sal, admitting that he overreacted and "crossed a line [he] never thought [he] would" and would make up with Sal and Richard one week later on November 8.

A picture on November 7, 2007 was revealed on air from the previous day when Artie was photographed holding a McDonalds bag and drink. Artie had called in sick the next day -- blaming his "diet" for his illness -- and the cast teased him anyway.

On November 14, 2007, Lange added an additional revelation that in his early 20s, he contracted chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease. He said that it was likely from receiving oral sex from a prostitute at a bachelor party. His doctor felt it was possible that the prostitute reused a condom from another man who was infected with the STD. Lange described having to receive a shot to fight the infection.

Filmography

Roles lost

Lange auditioned for the role of Milton in Office Space, and for a role in Mike Judge's latest film Idiocracy.^[7] He lost both roles to Stephen Root.

References

1. ^ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news07/2-12.htm#thu
2. ^ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news07/2-5.htm#tue
3. ^ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news06/6-12.htm#mon
4. ^ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news07/3-19.htm#thu
5. ^ http://artielangedeathwatch.com/_wsn/page4.html
6. ^ http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/richard_deitsch/09/17/lange.qa/index.html
7. ^ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news04/4-12.htm#wed

See also

• Howard 100
• Sirius Satellite Radio
• The Howard Stern Show

Interviews

• Artie Lange (Part One) interview on Static Multimedia
• Fresh Air Interview